Caring is the central activity for many women who care for children with disabilities and other dependent relatives and it circumscribes virtually all of the other activities they carry out. This paper will compare the daily experiences of such women (who have been participants in the author’s recent research into home-based care) with what has been written in social work literature about women who ‘care’.

The paper deals mainly with work undertaken at Travancore Child and Family Centre and discusses the connection between attachment disorder and Undersocialized Conduct Disorder. Clinical examples illustrate the difficulties such children present to the caregivers and workers in the systems around the child. As these children generally fail to respond readily to therapies based on the child’s ability to form trusting relationships, management and treatment strategies which rely on careful assessment of the child’s attachment behaviour are described.

Most packaged parent education programmes available in Victoria teach some underlying principles about children’s behaviour and offer specific skills or strategies for managing children. Whilst parent education is seen as an important part of a treatment plan for parents who have abused or neglected their children, these parents are rarely at a stage where they can make use of the information or strategies taught in the packaged programmes. Acutely vulnerable parents, who themselves have been hurt as children, must first heal some of their past before being able to learn and use new approaches to parenting. This paper considers the characteristics of acutely vulnerable parents and proposes some approaches that can be employed to assist these parents reach a point where they can respond to parent education and develop new positive ways relating to their children.