Skip to content

Your Cart


You have 0 items in your cart.

Register Sign in Wishlist

Hurt Feelings
Theory, Research, and Applications in Intimate Relationships

$35.99 (P)

Lin Xiao, Dana Smith, Antoine Bechara, Luciano L'Abate
View all contributors
  • Date Published: September 2011
  • format: Paperback
  • isbn: 9780521141413

$ 35.99 (P)

Add to cart Add to wishlist

Other available formats:
Hardback, eBook

Looking for an examination copy?

If you are interested in the title for your course we can consider offering an examination copy. To register your interest please contact providing details of the course you are teaching.

Product filter button
About the Authors
  • Hurt feelings are universal and are present in human beings as well as in animals. These feelings are usually avoided by human beings and overlooked by the scientific and professional mental health communities. Yet, if unresolved and not shared with loved ones and professionals, they tend to fester in our bodies and effect our functioning. If not expressed and shared with caring others, anger, sadness, and fear are at the bottom of mental illness. Developmentally, each of these feelings respectively gives rise to anti-social acts, depression, and severe mental illness. This book suggests that instead of traditional one-on-one, face-to-face, conversation-based interventions, distance writing will allow mental health professionals to assign interactive practice exercises specifically focused on hurt feelings.

    • Reviews all the possible research as well as preventive and psychotherapeutic work done on hurt feelings
    Read more

    Reviews & endorsements

    “Hurt Feelings: Theory, Research, and Applications in Intimate Relationships is a book that will have significant utility and wide applicability for a range of human helping disciplines (e.g., psychology, social work, medicine, and counseling). In this book, Dr. L’Abate comprehensively describes how hurt feelings manifest and undergird most, if not all, personal and professional relationships. Of significance, Dr. L’Abate considers the potential differential effects of biological and cultural factors on the antecedents and outcomes of ‘hurt feelings.’ Dr. L’Abate is masterful in his deconstruction of this important construct. This book will serve as a seminal resource in the context of all the systems courses in which I teach for years to come.”
    – Lisa M. Hooper, PhD, The University of Alabama

    “Dr. L’Abate has achieved another tour de force in this, his most recent illuminating book on hurt feelings in intimate relationships. Who among us has not experienced hurt feelings periodically during our lifetime? This is a universal emotional reaction to behaviors towards oneself by significant others; yet as L’Abate cogently posits, this painful experience and affect, so often denied, is frequently overlooked in therapy, and in therapeutic and other literature. He anchors his carefully documented and beautifully nuanced discussion of the theory, research, and applications of the study of hurt feelings as they bubble up quickly or evolve slowly in Relational Competence Theory, and emphasizes the criticality of being able to discuss these feelings with loved ones and with a professional, if one is engaged in treatment. The emphasis on seeking to maximize the joys in relationships as well as to express and resolve the hurts is most welcome. A must read for graduate students and professionals in all mental health disciplines who care about ‘Feelings'.”
    – Florence Kaslow, PhD, ABPP, President, Kaslow Associates, Distinguished Visiting Professor, Florida Institute of Technology

    "...There is now a new standard by which all future work on hurt feelings will be measured. Luciano L'Abate's book is one of the finest volumes I've seen on a single emotion. In it, he examines hurt feelings from every imaginable perspective -- neuroscience, culture, gender theory, developmental, clinical psychology, and others. The ideas are rich and L'Abate takes the reader on an exciting tour on who gets hurt feelings and why.... This is a very readable book that is studiously researched. At the same time, it made me think about topics I never understood or appreciated. More than anything, it reminded me what a creative and fertile mind put this wonderful book together."
    --James W. Pennebaker, University of Texas at Austin, American Journal of Family Therapy

    "...the precursors to and implications of hurt feelings are thoroughly researched, an impressive range of research studies is diligently reviewed, and this book integrates theory from fields of emotion, gender issues, social psychology, and developmental psychology. There is also extensive integration of clinical implications of hurt feelings. Overall, due to the expansive coverage of various areas of research, this book would be a useful resource to clinical researchers and clinicians hoping to gain a general and broad understanding of hurt feelings."
    --Dr. Debra Oswald and Ms. Teni Davoudian, Marquette University, PsycCRITIQUES

    "L'Abate (emer., Georgia State Univ.) provides a comprehensive overview of the foundation and contemporary research on experiences of interpersonal wounds. He is a pioneer in the development of family psychology, having established the first doctoral program in this field of study. Blending theory, research on individual difference, and principles of therapy practice, the author convincingly argues that hurt feelings are at the root of human existence as social animals.... this book is required reading for those working in this area.... Essential..."
    -- A. N. Douglas, Mount Holyoke College, CHOICE

    See more reviews

    Customer reviews

    Not yet reviewed

    Be the first to review

    Review was not posted due to profanity


    , create a review

    (If you're not , sign out)

    Please enter the right captcha value
    Please enter a star rating.
    Your review must be a minimum of 12 words.

    How do you rate this item?


    Product details

    • Date Published: September 2011
    • format: Paperback
    • isbn: 9780521141413
    • length: 436 pages
    • dimensions: 228 x 153 x 23 mm
    • weight: 0.59kg
    • contains: 4 b/w illus. 1 table
  • Table of Contents

    1. The nature of hurt feelings: what is intimacy?
    Part I. Background:
    2. Hurts: the avoided feelings
    3. The origins of hurt feelings
    4. The developmental socialization of hurt feelings
    5. Hurt feelings in the family
    Part II. The Scientific Bases of Hurt Feelings:
    6. The discovery of hurt feelings: the pioneers
    7. Biological processes underlying hurt feelings: with special attention to neural mechanisms Lin Xiao, Dana Smith, Antoine Bechara and Luciano L'Abate
    8. Gender and individual differences in hurt feelings
    9. Cultural differences in hurt feelings
    10. The psychopathology of hurt feelings: influences on physical and mental health
    Part III. Applications of Hurt Feelings in Mental Health:
    11. Sharing social support: self-help, health promotion, and prevention of mental illness
    12. Psychotherapy: sharing hurt feelings and fears of being hurt
    Part IV. Models of Hurt Feelings in Theory and Applications:
    13. Hurt feelings: a construct in search of a theory.

  • Author

    Luciano L'Abate, Georgia State University
    Luciano L'Abate, PhD is Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Georgia State University in Atlanta, where he developed the first doctoral Family Psychology Program in the world. He is a Diplomate and former Examiner of the American Board of Professional Psychology and Fellow and Approved Supervisor of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Author or co-author of more than 300 papers, chapters and book reviews in professional and scientific journals, he is also author, co-author, editor or co-editor of 45 books, with six other books at various stages of production. His work has been translated in Argentina, China, Denmark, Finland, French-Canada, Germany, Italy, Japan, South Korea and Poland. In 2003 he received a Silver Medal from the President of the University of Bari and the Renoir Prize from the University of Lecce in Italy for Outstanding Achievement. In 2009 Dr L'Abate was the recipient of the Award for Distinguished Professional Contributions in Applied Psychology from the American Psychological Association.


    Lin Xiao, Dana Smith, Antoine Bechara, Luciano L'Abate

Sign In

Please sign in to access your account


Not already registered? Create an account now. ×

Sorry, this resource is locked

Please register or sign in to request access. If you are having problems accessing these resources please email

Register Sign in
Please note that this file is password protected. You will be asked to input your password on the next screen.

» Proceed

You are now leaving the Cambridge University Press website. Your eBook purchase and download will be completed by our partner Please see the permission section of the catalogue page for details of the print & copy limits on our eBooks.

Continue ×

Continue ×

Continue ×

Find content that relates to you

Are you sure you want to delete your account?

This cannot be undone.


Thank you for your feedback which will help us improve our service.

If you requested a response, we will make sure to get back to you shortly.

Please fill in the required fields in your feedback submission.