{"id":19853,"date":"2017-07-13T19:24:53","date_gmt":"2017-07-13T18:24:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.journals.cambridge.org\/?p=19853"},"modified":"2017-07-13T19:24:53","modified_gmt":"2017-07-13T18:24:53","slug":"using-ourselves-to-understand-others","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/blog\/2017\/07\/13\/using-ourselves-to-understand-others\/","title":{"rendered":"Using Ourselves to Understand Others"},"content":{"rendered":"
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One of the primary ways we understand another person is through taking their perspective, imagining what they are thinking and feeling about their experiences. To understand their psychological point of view, we use information about ourselves<\/em>. This includes placing ourselves imaginatively into the other person\u2019s situation (\u201cHow would I feel if that was me?\u201d) and relating what they are going through to similar situations we have experienced (\u201cI\u2019ve been there\u201d).<\/p>\n

Having similar past experiences \u2013 such as relationship breakdowns, work conflicts, and loss of loved ones \u2013 to a person whom we are trying to understand makes it easier to take their perspective and increases compassion and concern. However, less clear is what types<\/em> of self-reflection are most beneficial for understanding our and others\u2019 experiences.<\/p>\n

It is important to consider a person\u2019s motives<\/em> for reflecting on their thoughts, feelings, past experiences, and behaviours. Introspection driven by defensive or anxious reasons (e.g., loss, relationship problems) is quite different to more curiosity-driven reasons for turning attention inward. Indeed, the first type of self-reflection \u2013 rumination \u2013 is associated with anxiety, depression, and negative affect; as well as the Big Five personality trait neuroticism. By contrast, curious reflection is associated with enjoyment of effortful thinking and the Big Five trait of openness to experience.<\/p>\n

Rumination inhibits a person\u2019s ability to shift focus from their own experiences to those of others. Indeed, people who regularly ruminate about experiences are less likely to consider other peoples\u2019 points of view and experience significant distress when encountering others\u2019 misfortunes. By contrast, those who regularly engage in curious reflection are apt to consider both their own and others\u2019 experiences.<\/p>\n

It is reasonable to play negative experiences over and over in one\u2019s mind. However, to understand and formulate solutions to problematic situations, we need to move from rumination to insight<\/em> into those experiences.<\/p>\n

Insight involves working through experiences, developing an accurate understanding of what occurred, and incorporating this learning into how we see ourselves and the world.<\/p>\n

Psychological research suggests that taking a self-distanced perspective \u2013 almost as if watching events happening to another person \u2013 when thinking about past experiences fosters insight and closure.<\/p>\n

Surprisingly, there is no direct research on whether taking a self-distanced perspective to one\u2019s experiences improves understanding of another person in a similar situation. However, self-compassion is<\/em> related to perspective taking and helpful relationship behaviours. Self-compassion allows us to view our experiences and failings as part of a \u201cbigger picture\u201d, which is similar to taking a self-distanced approach to our experiences.<\/p>\n

This blog post is based on the author\u2019s paper,\u00a0\u2018I Think, You Think\u2019: Understanding the Importance of Self-Reflection to the Taking of Another Person’s Perspective<\/a>,<\/em> published in Journal of Relationships Research<\/em><\/a>. The article is freely accessible until August 31, 2017.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of the primary ways we understand another person is through taking their perspective, imagining what they are thinking and feeling about their experiences. To understand their psychological point of view, we use information about ourselves. This includes placing ourselves imaginatively into the other person\u2019s situation (\u201cHow would I feel if that was me?\u201d) and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":655,"featured_media":19868,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[2620,2618,2622,2621,2616,2619,2617],"coauthors":[],"class_list":["post-19853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psych","tag-empathy","tag-insight","tag-journal-of-relationships-research","tag-past-experience","tag-perspective-taking","tag-rumination","tag-self-reflection"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19853","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/655"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19853"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19853\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19868"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19853"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19853"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19853"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cambridge.org\/core\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=19853"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}