The primary foci of twin research have been on twins as a biological phenomenon, on the management of medical complications of twin pregnancy and birth and on the study of individual differences and development by psychologists and geneticists for whom twins provide a powerful research tool. The twin relationship — twinship — has received less research attention, including the aspect of bereavement which may occur at any stage of life. This paper presents some findings from a qualitative study that used grounded theory methodology to explore the nature of twinship especially issues relevant to psychological counselling with twins. Fourteen participants were interviewed in-depth about their understanding and experience of twinship. Participants were selected who had a rich knowledge and experience of twinship and of therapeutic work. Segments of transcribed interviews were constantly compared to describe and elaborate frequently repeated concepts in the data. Two of the main themes of discernment, the core category of the theory of twinship, are described. These are ‘defining boundaries’ and ‘managing ambiguity’. Aspects of these as experienced by twins are discussed in the light of current psychological theories about bereavement.