My partner Veda and I live in Gerringong, a coastal town of approximately 4,000 people, about two hours south of Sydney, Australia. Gerringong is still a farming area, with dairies and vineyards, but is also a tourist destination because of its beaches. We’re lesbians: we’ve never encountered any discrimination down here. We’re known as ‘the girls’ around town. Being well known in such a small town has been particularly important as Veda's dementia symptoms have progressed since her diagnosis of a rare form of Younger Onset Dementia in 2012 at the age of 61.

Even though I’ve had this house for about 25 years, neither Veda nor I planned to live here in such a full-time way. Veda moved here in 2007 to live with me. Both of us love natural beauty, but also wanted to get to Sydney easily. We liked the idea of a country and a city life. Veda and I have always been travellers. It's something we have in common. We didn't do the usual things that our peers did in their 20s. I went over to France to study and Veda was touring as a member of a rock band.

When I came back from travelling and studying overseas, I lived and worked in the middle of Sydney. It was the ‘80s and there was a vibrant gay and lesbian culture where I lived, but there was also HIV/AIDs. I worked in the education sector, eventually for the state government, with a particular focus on disability and equity. I was called the ‘equity policy queen’, one of ‘the lesbian mafia’. I applied the Anti-Discrimination Act, the Disability Discrimination Act and the Convention on the Rights of People with Disability to state education policy. I’m a speed reader and cope with struggles by learning as much as I can. It turns out that my professional experience and skill have been particularly useful since Veda's diagnosis.

Veda had a completely different history. She started performing as a musician at the age of 15. By 17 she was leading some Adelaide bands and then toured in Australia before going overseas at 20. In Kuala Lumpur she met and joined a women's band.