This chapter offers a very brief orientation to the construct of emerging adulthood and introduces the reader to the remainder of the book.

WHAT IS EMERGING ADULTHOOD?

In contemporary western society, adolescence begins earlier and adulthood (e.g., marrying, becoming parents) comes much later than in prior generations (Arnett, 2000, 2004). Today's young people leave home at about age 18 or 19, but most do not marry, become parents, and find a steady job until much later in their twenties. For most young people, the late teens to mid-twenties is a time with “both excitement and uncertainty, wide-open possibility and confusion, new freedoms and new fears” (Arnett, 2004, p. 3). Consequently, this period has been proposed as a unique and important developmental stage that is distinct from adolescence and young adulthood.

Arnett (2000, 2004) referred to this period between ages 18 to 25 as “emerging adulthood” and described it as having several distinct features. First, it is a period of continued identity explorations. During this stage, emerging adults become more independent of their parents than they were as adolescents, but have not yet committed to adult roles and responsibilities. In the course of exploring possibilities, emerging adults clarify their identities by answering such questions as “What kind of person am I?” and “What kind of person should I find as a partner through life?” Second, emerging adulthood is an age of instability, with emerging adults shifting between choices in love and work and moving from one residence to another.

The literature on emerging adulthood (EA) has focused heavily on basic research, a reflection no doubt of continuing debate about fundamental features of this stage of development (see the special issue of Child Development Perspectives, 2007). Therefore it is not surprising that examination of applied issues relating to romantic relationships in EA has been limited to documenting an association between romantic relationships and psychological adjustment (see Chapter 14) and to showing that the quality of such relationships mediates the link between earlier parent–adolescent relationships and later mental health outcomes (Beyers & Seiffge-Krenke, 2007). The purpose of this chapter is to broaden attention to applied issues in the EA literature by considering how to facilitate what seems to be a prerequisite to entering adulthood: the ability to initiate and sustain an intimate romantic relationship with another person.

WHAT IS RELATIONSHIP EDUCATION AND IS IT NECESSARY?

Historically, relationship education has taken the form of marriage education and has been offered almost exclusively to couples. Such marriage education has its roots in religious institutions, and the precursor to modern programs was Pre-Cana premarital counseling now required of couples wishing to marry within the Catholic Church (Ooms, 2005). Until quite recently, most relationship education occurred in religious contexts, thereby excluding those who do not profess a religious faith or who are uncomfortable in such settings. Nonetheless, a substantial minority of marrying couples (44%) in the 1990s received some type of relationship education before marriage (Stanley, Amato, Johnson, & Markman, 2006).

Cohabitation has become a common element of the path that emerging adults travel as they navigate romantic relationships before settling down into marriage. There has been an explosion in the practice of cohabiting before marriage, and many emerging adults now cohabit regardless of marriage intentions. Along with the wide availability of birth control and the increased likelihood of nonmarital sex, cohabiting reflects fundamental changes in how men and women date and mate. This chapter describes this growing trend, including how individuals during the period of emerging adulthood view cohabitation and how they can be affected by it as they pursue their romantic relationship and family goals.

LIVING TOGETHER OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE: A NEW NATIONAL TREND

Many changes have occurred in family demography in the United States over the past several decades. One of the most significant changes is an increase in the number of couples who live together without being married. The U.S. Census now inquires about romantic partners sharing a household, and the last report indicated that unmarried couples were living together in 4% to 6% of U.S. households. This upward trend in cohabitation is likely linked with many other changes in recent decades, including the diminishing number of U.S. households that involve married couples and, most significantly for the focus of this book, the trend toward delaying marriage until the late 20s.

Experiencing hurt is an inevitable part of being in a close relationship. The depth of feeling and emotion that come from loving another brings with it in equal measure the potential for pain and anguish. This conundrum is arguably the most frequently explored theme in art, literature, and religious thought. Despite the pain that inexorably follows love, the vast majority of individuals in Western culture continue to invest themselves in love, marriage, and family (Gallup, 2006). The happiness associated with loving relationships such as marriage is substantial and is well documented in psychological research. However, the hurt associated with love is also substantial, and its sequelae have also been documented. This hurt born of love often goes beyond temporary feelings of sadness or disappointment and is linked to psychological distress.

The first section of the chapter examines the relationship between experiencing hurt in close relationships and mental health. We discuss experienced hurt in relation to chronic and discrete transgressions and provide prototypes to illustrate how reactions to each type of event may be related to psychological health. In the second section, we propose a conceptual model in which forgiveness mediates the relationship between hurtful events and mental health. We also explore some potential moderators that may influence the forgiveness process. Finally, we make suggestions for future research.