Most of the information contained in this book is a result of my reworked Master's degree that I completed at the then Potchefstroom University, hence the partly academic style of writing. This book does not attempt to give all the answers to the many problems that threaten African Christian marriages, but it can be used as an eye opener towards some of the problems that may arise as a result of ignorance of some of the issues surrounding an African Christian marriage. The conventional marriage union is under attack, not only from same sex marriages and prostitution, but also from an ignorance of the issues that used to dignify marriages, particularly as African Christians. It is the duty of all Africans–pastors, elders of the church, parents, and young people–to pride ourselves on our own identity in the context of marriage. One of the reasons why this book was written is that there are very serious controversies around issues that seem to be part of basic African traits as far as marriage is concerned. It dawned on me that traits like infertility, lobolo and excessive family intervention (by the extended family) did not receive balanced or constructive criticism from people who always argue against them. My main concern is to proffer the positive and negative effects of these traits.

Apart from the various books written by Western missionaries and some African writers whose arguments centre around whether lobolo should be abolished, I happened to read a blog entitled ‘Only fools pay lobolo’. Irrespective of the blog being biased against the African tradition, my perception is that those who know the initial intention of the tradition might have a different view on lobolo. It is for this reason that I first intended to verify the initial meaning of the tradition before I drew my conclusions. I have witnessed some cases where young men who ignore arrangements for lobolo negotiations and choose the so-called vat-en-sit type of marriage are forced to pay lobolo when their girlfriends (wives) die and they are widowed. Cohabitation and concubinage seem to be growing rapidly amongst African people (especially in many informal settlements) and prevents young people from doing what is right according to their traditions; unknowingly, trouble awaits them in the near future.