Learning to be responsible and involved with one's child is a new experience for parents of a first child. We can explore something of what this is like for the Millennium Cohort Study (MCS) parents, both mothers and fathers, as well as the impact of a new baby on families who already have children. The data provide some direct evidence from mothers and fathers about their involvement with their new baby and in family life, uniquely, for a very large sample of UK fathers.

Plan of this chapter

In this chapter, we first examine the effect of the baby. The spotlight is then turned on an under-researched group – fathers – as they appear in the existing literature, followed by a report on the division of domestic work between mothers and fathers. We then present what the survey finds about fathers’ involvement with the cohort child, irrespective of whether they are living in the same home. Parenting beliefs and attitudes are reviewed as well as the overlaps in mothers’ and fathers’ views about parenting, and some of the mothers’ feelings about having a new baby.

Baby shock

Having a new baby can come as a shock. The upheaval is probably greater when it is the first baby than for second or later children. There are sleepless nights, learning to feed and care for this infant who is totally dependent on its parents, and the financial implications. There are many one-off fixed costs for the first baby: a buggy, baby clothes, a cot, and then the regular expenses of nappies, clothes and toys. Where mothers have been employed before giving birth, they have more resources with which to meet these costs. Partnered parents are likely to find it easier than lone parents. Apart from the additional costs, there is the loss of income for employed mothers, where they do not have a generous maternity leave scheme, or they decide to have a career break to care for their own baby. This, for many, means learning to live at a lower standard of living. The MCS provided some information about the adjustment to having a new baby, as described later.

When asked what was the most difficult thing about having their cohort baby, 14.0% of the first-time mothers and 11.3% of their partners said that adjusting to parenthood had been the main challenge.