Accenting. Nonverbal communication often highlights or emphasizes some part of a verbal message. A raised eyebrow might accompany an expression of surprise; a wagging finger might underscore an expression of disapproval.

Complementing. Nonverbal communication also reinforces the general tone or attitude of your verbal communication. A downcast expression and slumping posture might accompany words of discouragement or depression; upright posture, a smile and animated movement might reinforce a verbal story about winning a recent promotion.

Contradicting. Nonverbal communication, on the other hand, can contradict the verbal messages we send, sometimes deliberately, sometimes unintentionally. Tears in your eyes and a quiver in your voice might involuntarily contradict a verbal message telling friends and family that you're doing all right. A wink and a nod might deliberately send the nonverbal message that what you're saying just isn't so. The truth is, when verbal and nonverbal messages contradict, we tend— for a number of reasons— to believe the nonverbal. In the final analysis, it's simply much easier to lie than it is to control a range of nonverbal reactions, such as facial expression, pupil dilation, tension in your vocal cords, pulse rate, sweating, muscle tone and so on. Control of such things is, for most people, well beyond our voluntary reach.

Regulating. Certain nonverbal movements and gestures are 38 used to regulate the flow, the pace and back-and-forth nature of verbal communication. When you want someone to speak to you, you face that person, open your eyes, open your arms with hands extended and palms facing upward, and look expectantly into his eyes. When you want to stop someone from speaking so you can either talk or think of what you're about to say, then you will turn slightly away, fold your arms, put one hand out with palm facing forward, and either close your eyes or turn your head away.