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1 - Promoting intimacy: strategies suggested by the appetitive side

from Part I - Major theoretical perspectives

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  05 April 2016

By
Harry T. Reis ,
David C. de Jong ,
Karisa Y. Lee ,
Stephanie D. O’Keefe  and
Brett J. Peters
Edited by
C. Raymond Knee  and
Harry T. Reis
C. Raymond Knee
Affiliation:
University of Houston
Harry T. Reis
Affiliation:
University of Rochester, New York
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Summary

Few people enter intimate relationships for the intended purpose of avoiding conflict, yet much of the existing literature on maintaining intimacy focuses on preventing or overcoming destructive patterns of communication and interaction. This work has made numerous important contributions to knowledge and interventions, but it addresses only one side of the relevant relationship processes, namely the aversive side. In this chapter, we propose that the appetitive side -- the processes that describe how people pursue positively valenced goals -- provides a unique and informative window on intimacy. The appetitive side of intimacy reflects not merely the absence of aversive factors, but rather a unique set of processes and phenomena. We review several examples that show how appetitive processes contribute to the development and maintenance of intimacy, and we discuss how each of them can suggest novel approaches to intervention. In a broader sense, the goal of the chapter is to stimulate contemporary theorizing and intervention strategies to elaborate and incorporate not only the processes that make romantic relationships deteriorate but also the processes that allow them to thrive.
Type
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Information
Positive Approaches to Optimal Relationship Development , pp. 3 - 29
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2016

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