A parent or parent substitute sexually engaging his or her child may be seen as violent or as evil – even if there is no physical force or overt intimidation. A child cannot freely give or withdraw consent. Engaging sexually with a child breaks a moral barrier and, in a large percentage of cases, creates significant long-term harm (McCann & Pearlman, 1990).

I will analyze the influences that lead to such behavior with one type of perpetrator I will call needy-dependent. He is insecure, and has strong needs for being cared for. Given who he is, it is difficult for him to exercise control in shaping his life, and he easily feels powerless. His important motives have been satisfied by his wife at the beginning of their marriage. According to Gelinas (1983), the wife tends to be a “parentified” child, who had been led to assume adult responsibilities of caretaking in her family of origin. She naturally continued in her caretaking role in relation to her husband.

However, at some point, the additional demands of children result in her withdrawal, sometimes precipitated by illness. Her emotional and sexual withdrawal powerfully activate the husband's needs for being cared for and nurtured, and probably for the feelings of strength and power he gained from this. His insecurity and poor social skills prevent him from seeking satisfaction of his emotional and sexual needs outside the family. Sometimes additional inhibitions exist, for example, religiousness that inhibits him from extramarital sexual relations.