1963–1964

We come together for the first time since our arrest at Rivonia. Even in the greyness of the prison interview room it is like a club reunion – handshakes, embraces and greetings.

I have not seen Nelson since his trial eighteen months before. Then he had been magnificent, a traditional Xhosa leopard-skin across his bared torso, his skin the colour of deep chocolate. Now his flesh has melted away. He is thin and rangy, but as erect as ever, his flashing smile of greeting unchanged. Robben Island has faded his complexion to dull yellow and dressed him in the black convict's uniform of khaki shirt, short trousers and rubber-soled sandals. He had always been the best dressed and most clothes-conscious of ANC activists. Even in this mocking ‘boy's’ outfit he stands tall and distinguished.

We all show signs of wear and are thinner, more subdued. With us now are two old comrades, Elias Motsoaledi and Andrew Mlangeni, ANC and MK activists who had been arrested some weeks after the Rivonia raid. Eleven of us have been jointly charged, but there are only nine at this and subsequent consultations. Kantor is not with us. He has had no part in any of the matters which have given rise to the case. He has been dragged in to save the face of prosecutor and Security Police after the humiliation of the escapes from Marshall Square. He has taken on lawyers of his own, very sensibly, and will conduct a separate defence.

Bob Hepple is nowhere to be seen. He has been taken from the Pretoria Prison by Security Police. The rumour in legal circles is that he is co-operating with the prosecutors. If they are breaking the rules to interrogate him now that he is already charged, they must surely intend to drop the charge and call him as a witness against us.

I am sad about that. I have known him since he was a child. I know that anyone is liable to crack under the stress of solitary confinement, but he has shown no sign that he has done so. Breakdown would be forgivable; testifying against his comrades would not.