Standard narratives about physical teleology say its death was a fait accompli of the Scientific Revolution, but the principle of least action (PLA) has been taken to instantiate teleology’s survival into Enlightenment physics. Other scholars claim this PLA-based teleological metaphysics fell to general philosophical attacks on final causes. None of these narratives fully captures the philosophical interest of its demise. It illustrates a metaphysics being refuted because it could not be coherently modeled in mathematics, hence directly through mathematization and not by philosophical argument or empirical test.