The degree of contact between adults and young people, the nature of that contact, the quality of parent–child relationships, and whether adults think differently about their own and other people's children, all contribute to how the generations get along together. This chapter focuses on the things young people do with their parents and carers, and the extent to which the generations feel they talk and listen to each other. Some comparisons are drawn between adults’ attitudes to their own children and to children in general.

A context of unease

Relationships between the generations are not independent of society and its pressures. This chapter begins by considering some of the ways in which these relationships have become more self-conscious than in the past and the impact this can have.

Much of the tension contributing to uneasy relationships across the generations can be traced to concerns about protecting young people from dangerous situations. Well-publicised and horrific cases of physical and sexual abuse have pinpointed child protection as a matter of high priority and led to increased monitoring of professions in contact with young people, thorough vetting and police checks by the Criminal Records Bureau, improved recruitment and training, and many other linked measures. These actions, as well as the heightened awareness of child maltreatment, have nonetheless engendered a certain anxiety within the wider community. Many adults these days are loath to assist or talk to a child in a public place, just as children are often reluctant to speak to unknown adults as they heed persistent warnings of ‘stranger danger’. At the extreme, even smiling at a child, or helping a young person to cross the road, could be misconstrued. Similar issues can arise in settings such as schools where teachers and others realise that young people may be ‘streetwise’ enough to make false allegations against them. The fear of accidental injury and the possibility of consequent litigation is another factor that can curtail interactions between adults and young people in a variety of settings including schools and clubs.

Anxieties may also occur within the family. Parents have been apprehended for photographs they have taken of their unclothed young children, and many will privately admit to worrying about their quite normal physical contact with their own children.