The findings

Our study discovered that grandparents, parents and children often viewed grandparenting from very different perspectives. The role is extraordinarily diverse and the extent of that diversity in a sample of 44 families was surprising. When we came to consider the effects of divorce on the grandparent–grandchild relationship, we discovered that grandparents’ approaches and attitudes to grandparenting usually survived the impact of divorce. We concluded that the evidence of continuities in grandparents’ pre- and post-divorce behaviour was more compelling than the evidence of change as the result of family break-up. However, maternal grandparents often experienced an intensification of their childcare role and some paternal grandparents discovered that contact after divorce was more difficult or, in some cases, no longer possible.

Four ‘continua’ proved helpful in our reflections about grandparents’ attitudes, functions and behaviour:

• • Our exploration of the ‘partisan–non-partisan’ continuum provided evidence of the strength of grandparents’ feelings. Strong emotions were generated by their sense of outrage at the way their adult child had been treated by their ex-spouse. Non-partisan grandparents saw that support for their ex-son or daughter-in-law could be exchanged for a long-term guarantee of future contact with their grandchildren and some felt strong ties of affection with their ex-child-in-law that they were unwilling to break.

• • The ‘enthusiastic–reluctant’ continuum emphasised the diversity of grandparents’ opinions. It highlighted the difference between those who wished to minimise their grandparenting role and were not afraid to say so, and those who saw grandparenting as a very significant phase of the life course and an important part of their day-to-day lives. Evidence from parents and grandchildren suggested that attitudes to grandparenting generally had origins that pre-dated family break-up.

• • The ‘adult-centred–child-centred’ continuum was helpful in reminding us that the parenting of an adult child can be an important aspect of a grandparent’s role. Some of the grandparents who were interviewed saw their adult child rather than their grandchild as their priority. Some grandchildren felt bored when grandparents devoted most of their attention to the parent and expected them to amuse themselves during visits to their grandparents’ house.

• • Finally, the ‘grandparent-as-parent–grandparent-as-grandparent’ continuum drew attention to the differences that responsibility for childcare can make to grandparents.