Omwene hango [the owner of the home] is the
only person with
true authority to discipline children. So, when your husband
died, the authority of omwene hango died with him, and you
were left alone.
HISTORIANS of gender have shown the importance of documenting and
scrutinizing instances in which gender terminologies are invoked and
employed. A compelling instance can be found in an examination of the
widows of Maragoli. In this upland rural area of about two hundred square
kilometers in western Kenya, the dynamic relations surrounding widowhood
provide a useful opportunity to analyze the construction of feminine and
masculine categories, as well as the political strategies that emerged
out of
these categories. Widows in this rural part of Kenya were certainly subject
to the limitations imposed on them by the invocation of strict gender
categorization – perhaps at this point in their lives more than any
other. And
yet, surprisingly, these widows were able to use such categories for their
own
purposes. By expressing their grief publicly – usually in ways that
focused on
their social and economic needs – Maragoli widows not only reinforced
the
importance of gender categories but also sought to redress their grievances
through these very categories. What is important, though, is that they
consciously presented themselves as ‘poor widows’, as idealized
stereotypes
of suffering females who were believed to become needy and helpless at
the
death of their husbands. They told their stories in ways calculated to
solicit
sympathy. And this usually worked to their advantage since it placed men
in
the difficult situation of having to defend their ‘ideal’ masculinity.
Only by
helping guarantee the economic livelihood and social status of bereaved
widows could men uphold their own self-image. Thus the relationship
between them was informed by a reciprocity that suggests that the widows
were more than passive recipients of male charity. By presenting their
grief
publicly so as to solicit relief for their sufferings, widows were actively
able
to turn what men saw as stereotypical feminine behaviour – emotionality,
helplessness and weakness – into strengths. That is, by consciously
attempting
to make men feel more ‘manly’, Maragoli widows were able –
at least
partially – to exploit existing gender roles to get what they needed.