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Mental health of heterosexual women married to homosexual men: a major but neglected issue

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  12 March 2024

Azeem Kaleem*
Affiliation:
The University of Lahore, Lahore School of Nursing, Defence Road, Lahore, Pakistan. Email: kaleemazeem1993@gmail.com
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Abstract

Type
Letter
Copyright
Copyright © The Author(s), 2024. Published by Cambridge University Press on behalf of Royal College of Psychiatrists

Acknowledgment of homosexuality still appears to be non-existent in many nations, as opposed to Western countries where homosexuality and gay marriage are accepted and supported. Undoubtedly, ethnic, religious, legal and cultural values result in an insurmountable conflict towards same-sex orientation, encouraging individuals to ‘rectify’ homosexuality by entering into an unwanted heterosexual marriage, especially in nations such as India, Pakistan and China.Reference Jaspal1,Reference Wang, Wilson, Chen, Hu, Peng and Xu2 The aftermath of such marriages eventually causes an unhealthy turmoil in the lives of homosexual individuals. However, it is also reported that the wives of homosexual men experience comparable health-related problems, including physical, mental, psychosocial and sexual problems.Reference Wang, Wilson, Chen, Hu, Peng and Xu2 Although there are concerns pertaining to homosexuality, the health issues affecting the wives of homosexual men are typically disregarded and dismissed. Alongside the risks of physical violence and contracting HIV or sexually transmitted infections, upon disclosure of their husbands’ sexual identity, the wives of homosexual men are at risk of emotional trauma, self-blaming and depersonalisation.Reference Daly, MacNeela and Sarma3 Similarly, an extreme vulnerability to insomnia, depression, hopelessness and suicidal ideations is anticipated among these wives.Reference Wang, Wilson, Chen, Hu, Peng and Xu2,Reference Cao, Wong, Chang, Agudile and Ekström4 It is also anticipated that in Asian cultures, where divorce rates are seemingly low, the wives of homosexual individuals are likely to live with endurance of the oppression of their husbands, leading to an exhausting journey involving health risks and psychological conditions such as anxiety, fear and seclusion.Reference Tang, Meadows and Li5 Therefore, there is a dire need for care and psychosocial support to promote the mental well-being of these women. In this regard, healthcare workers have a crucial role in facilitating these women to express their concerns and employ effective coping strategies with the help of psychological counselling. These strategies include joining support groups, demonstrating decision-making skills to restore or divorce the spousal relationship and planning accordingly. In addition, establishment of parental disclosure skills with respect to children appears to be a crucial step in these marriages for adaptive family support.Reference Wang, Wilson, Chen, Hu, Peng and Xu2,Reference Cao, Wong, Chang, Agudile and Ekström4 Furthermore, it is the responsibility of healthcare workers to reduce stigmatisation of HIV and homosexual behaviour through sex education.Reference Cao, Wong, Chang, Agudile and Ekström4 Sex education, relating in particular to sexual orientation, must be provided to the wives of homosexual individuals in order to understand this sexual minority comprehensively. This will result in the relegation of self-blaming and promotion of self-healing and closure. Moreover, couple therapy sessions can be introduced to initiate an open dialogue between the homosexual husband and his wife. The goal of the therapy pertains to two-way communication of views, ideas and feelings, and acceptance of concerns, opinions and reactions. Communication between the parties will facilitate an ultimate resolution of guilt, hurt and despair.Reference Daly, MacNeela and Sarma3 On the other hand, considering the stigmatising societal norms that trigger the victimisation of heterosexual spouses married to members of homosexual minorities, it is the responsibility of policy makers to explore the rights of people who are affected alongside the sexual minority population. Altogether, this is the time to acknowledge this phenomenon as a major concern rather than discounting it as a mere societal ramification.Reference Wang, Wilson, Chen, Hu, Peng and Xu2,Reference Cao, Wong, Chang, Agudile and Ekström4

Declaration of interest

None.

References

Jaspal, R. ‘I never faced up to being gay’: sexual, religious and ethnic identities among British Indian and British Pakistani gay men. Cult Health Sex 2012; 14(7): 767–80.CrossRefGoogle ScholarPubMed
Wang, Y, Wilson, A, Chen, R, Hu, Z, Peng, K, Xu, S. Behind the rainbow, “Tongqi” wives of men who have sex with men in China: a systematic review. Front Psychol 2020; 10: 2929.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
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Tang, L, Meadows, C, Li, H. How gay men's wives in China practice co-cultural communication: culture, identity, and sensemaking. J Int Intercult Commun 2020; 13(1): 1331.CrossRefGoogle Scholar
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