What background experiences give rise to narcissistic personalities? Are there characteristic developmental features?

The reaction of parents to the miracle of the birth of their newborn, their adoration of their creation, is the very basis of a child’s self-esteem. That reveling in the perceived beauty, brilliance, and talents of their new baby and communicating it to the object of their affection, this “mirroring” of the infant by its parents, especially the mother, is the foundation of the growing child’s optimism, the basis of the child’s positive self-regard and good feelings about himself. The growing child takes the admiration of the parents into himself, and it becomes part of the child’s positive self-concept.

Major trauma and loss during this crucial period damages the very foundation of the child’s subsequent personality development, leading to the wounded aelf, craving the mirroring and adulation of which he was deprived. One way of compensating for this major wound is to create a grandiose self-concept, which externally is often conveyed as arrogance and certainty.

NARCISSISTIC WOUNDS AND NARCISSISTIC RAGE

The grandiose narcissistic self, with its unlimited dreams of glory, always rests on a sea of insecurity and doubt. And when reality dashes those dreams, it produces strong reactions.