In recent years attention has increasingly focused on the “actual ‘doing’ of research” (Song and Parker, 1995, p 241); on investigating the research process itself and analysing the researcher's ‘location of self ‘ (Hertz, 1996), that is, on issues of ‘reflexivity’ (Hertz, 1996; Arendell, 1997) and on the ‘politics and ethics’ of the research that we do (see Oakley, 1981; Finch, 1984; Punch, 1986; Homan, 1991; Sieber, 1993; Song and Parker, 1995; Dean, 1996). Given these developments, it is remarkable that the role of emotions in shaping research processes and products has remained relatively neglected (Kleinman and Copp, 1993), and that analyses of the gender dynamics in the research process have been mainly limited to women doing research on other women (for example, Oakley, 1981; Finch, 1984; Riessman, 1991; Cannon et al, 1991; Reinharz, 1992; Edwards, 1993; but see Scott, 1984; Bolak, 1996; Arendell, 1997 for exceptions).

By reflecting with honesty on the “pains and perils” (Punch, 1986) of research upon which I have recently been engaged I hope to contribute to our understanding of the emotional impact that research may have on the researcher and to explore the role of gender dynamics in facilitating or inhibiting the research process.

The research and the researcher

The project upon which I am now reflecting is that reported in Chapter Six of this volume. It involved face-to-face semi-structured interviews with people currently engaged in begging. Begging is an activity which is illegal in England and by choosing to investigate it we had entered into “difficult fields of morality, illegality and deviant behaviour” which render both researcher and participants vulnerable (Eardley, 1996, p 72). The interviews were conducted during July and November 1997, all in urban settings. Each interview typically lasted 30 to 40 minutes, although a few were longer.