The first step in becoming a monk or a nun is to abandon lay life, which means to leave one's family. Buddhist monasticism led many married persons to renounce their wives or husbands; single men and women renounced the possibility of marriage.

Most of the first sixty disciples who gathered around the Buddha during the first months of the Community had been married, notably Yasa and his friends, and the young men from the Bhaddavaggiya group (Vin I 15–23; see pp. 4–5 above). Did the Buddha and his disciples give a bad example to society? In their opinion, embracing the religious life was a good enough reason to renounce their family. In some circles, indeed, renouncing luxury, family life and sensual pleasures were regarded as difficult and heroic acts. Neither Gotama nor Nāthaputta (Jina Mahāvīra) became subject to general recrimination or public criticism, nor did they acquire a bad reputation for having abandoned their wives and children. This does not mean, however, that everyone admired the attitude of the Buddha and his disciples.