On an overcast day in late February 2003, an Army Ranger stationed at Fort Lewis, WA, sat down with his private thoughts. Along with his brother, the young man had joined the military in the months after the 9/11 attacks, drawn to the service by what he saw as his patriotic duty to fight terrorism. Since enlisting, he had suffered through grueling basic training and the demanding Ranger Indoctrination Program. He was ready for combat.

But as it became clear during the winter that the United States was marching toward a military conflict in Iraq, he was unsettled. Writing in his journal seventeen days after Colin Powell delivered his dramatic presentation at the United Nations about the threat posed by Saddam Hussein’s regime, the soldier expressed misgivings about the looming war and what it would mean for him and his brother, whom he called “Nub:”