The Sufi poet Rumi states the truth when he says that “this being human is a guest house.” We need to experience and welcome the full range of emotions if we are to truly live. In this chapter, we discuss some of the most complex emotional intelligence skills, including processing emotions, practicing nonjudgment, dealing with difficult people, and forgiving others. Everyone who is fully alive struggles with these issues. Indeed, many of the authors who share advice on these subjects admit that they write about these topics because the issues challenge them. Many of the world's greatest leaders exhibit these advanced emotional intelligence skills, while at the same time struggling with them. I guess that means, just like the rest of us, they are human.

As in the last chapter, it is helpful to see difficult situations as opportunities. We now turn to the topics of practicing nonjudgment, processing our emotions, dealing with difficult people, and forgiveness. Like the subjects of Chapter 9, these skills build on one another, in roughly the order in which they are presented here.

LEARNING TO RECOGNIZE AND PRACTICE NONJUDGMENT

What is love?

Love is the absence of judgment.

Dalai Lama

LAW PAUSE

Think of a time when someone judged you and the person was incorrect about that judgment. What made the person judge, and did he or she find out that the judgment was incorrect? How?

Now think of a time you incorrectly judged someone. How did you find out the judgment was incorrect?