At the base of every marital conflict there is a rupture of consensus. All conflicts involve differences in perception that increase in depth and magnitude as a dispute escalates. While couples may resolve or put aside differences by talking together, communication can also inflame matters and drive perspectives further apart. The variable effects of communication partly stem from the way communication itself is subjectively construed. In a bitter quarrel, disagreements are not confined to the surface issues and background events associated with conflict. Individuals may also perceive the stream of interaction differently (Watzlawick, Beavin, & Jackson, 1967), and this fact accounts for the explosive nature of some conflicts. To follow this reasoning a step further, communication patterns are also implicated in marital conflicts that culminate in violence (for example, Lloyd & Emery, 2000a). Further, there are strong indications that distorted perceptions of interaction, particularly by maritally violent men, contribute to the dysfunctional communication patterns of aggressive couples (Eckhardt, Barbour, & Davison, 1998). Thus, to better understand the role of communication in marital conflict and aggression, it is useful to consider not only how couples talk with each other, but also the subjective interpretations that accompany these acts.

In this chapter we look at the interpretive process connected with marital interaction, drawing upon a study of couple conflict, aggression, and alcohol. In this research the conscious thoughts and feelings that individuals experienced during couple interactions were reconstructed using video-assisted recall methods.