Should parents worry about their 6-year-old son who plays with dolls or their daughter who prefers football to Barbie? Is it natural for boys to play more aggressively than girls or to sequester themselves in their rooms playing video games? This chapter is about differences and similarities in the play of boys and girls. We begin by examining different views of children's play and how these are influenced by our attitudes and personal experiences.

Looking at children's play

Boys and girls play differently, and men and women differ in their views of that play. This can be seen clearly by examining aggressive play.

Boys' play, far more often than the play of girls, is viewed as a form of, or bordering on, real violence. Recent books by Nancy Carlsson-Paige and Diane Levin (1987, 1990), Myriam Miedzian (1991), and Pamela Tuchscherer (1988) lament the aggressiveness that they believe is ingrained in boys' toys, video games, and play.

Concern about aggressive play is based on the assumptions that such play is learned, that it can be inhibited or suppressed, and that it contributes to later real aggression. Some of these observers do not distinguish between aggressive play and aggressive behavior, seeing them as one and the same. There is no doubt that aggressive play is unseemly; during it, children run around and make noise. There is enough anarchy in such play to entice some observers to label it aggression.