The American poet and critic Dudley Fitts, a leading voice in the early twentieth-century revitalisation of classics through translation, published this version of Epigram 1.35 in 1956, in an anthology called (count 'em) Sixty Poems of Martial in Translation. His decision to translate 1.35 on its own, rather than, or with, 1.34, figures: like most of the other twentieth-century poets who have made Martial theirs, Fitts reminds us of how thrilling it has been to free Martial from his nineteenth-century closet, to put the libertas back into lĭber and to celebrate again this poet's ‘unsentimental treatment of sex and satiric punch’. Modern English lends itself brilliantly to poems like this, and even better to snappy, one-couplet epigrams like Ep. 3.71, which Tony Harrison translates, under the title ‘Twosum’, ‘Add one and one together and make TWO: that boy's sore ass + your cock killing you’, or Ep. 6.36, which in Fiona Pitt-Kethley's post-feminist hands, becomes, ‘His tool was large and so was his nose. Papylus could smell it whenever it rose.’