David Buss (1994), an evolutionary psychologist, believes that romantic attraction is based on traits that have powerful sexual and reproductive advantages. In prehistoric times, women needed to be protected while bearing and raising children. They chose mates who had traits well-suited to these needs. Men who were strong and family-oriented were more likely to get a mate and pass their genes to children. Over generations males became stronger and presumably more likely to stay with their women.

Males show a number of characteristics that attract female interest. They display resources/wealth (which falls under the basic striving for status), commitment (which falls under the basic striving for family), physical prowess (which falls under the basic striving for physical activity), self-confidence (which falls under the basic striving for acceptance), bravado (which falls under the basic striving for tranquility), appearance (which falls under the basic striving for romance), and fidelity (which falls under the basic striving for honor). Males also show competitiveness. “In the ruthless pursuit of sexual goals,” wrote Buss (1994, p. 5), “men and women derogate their rivals, deceive members of the opposite sex, and even subvert their own mates.”

In contrast, psychoanalysts believe that the unconscious mind exerts a powerful influence over romantic attraction (Strean, 1985). Freud identified two ways in which people select their ideal romantic partner. When the choice is narcissistic, the person is unconsciously motivated to fall in love with someone similar to himself or herself, or with someone he or she would like to be, or with someone who is unconsciously reminiscent of a parent or a sibling.