Think of a shy, obsessively studying teenager terrified of failure. Think of a solitary schoolgirl, practising the violin devotedly every break time. Think of a confused, guilt-ridden, lonely and struggling student. Think of a mute, motionless patient on a psychiatric ward, in despair. Think of a person coping independently, doing voluntary work. Think of someone feeling fulfilled and happy for the first time in life.

All these things describe my life at different stages.

I have been a mental health service user for 30 years with many ups and downs. Here I write my journey, through illness to comparative wellness, as a ‘spiritual’ narrative.

In common with most people (Rogers et al, 2002), my spiritual experiences have always been in a state of flux. Sometimes my faith has seemed more important and sometimes the music, sometimes both at once. Sometimes one or other or both have been positively unhelpful. Sometimes these experiences have been linked to periods of mental ill health and sometimes not. To make sense of this, it is necessary to study my spiritual narrative from my earliest memories (Cardano, 2010; Moran et al, 2012). This is helpful to me as an individual, but also can have implications for others in a similar situation (Gockel, 2009; Kogstad et al, 2011). Of course, this is anecdotal, but I hope that it will provide ideas for future research.

My journey

Experiencing religious well-being