Hostname: page-component-76d6cb85b7-xh428 Total loading time: 0 Render date: 2026-07-10T08:27:16.481Z Has data issue: false hasContentIssue false
  • English
  • Français

Roving Eyes: Predictors of Crushes in Ongoing Romantic Relationships and Implications for Relationship Quality

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  15 January 2019

Charlene F. Belu  and
Lucia F. O'Sullivan
Charlene F. Belu*
Affiliation:
Department of Psychology, University of New Brunswick, Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada
Lucia F. O'Sullivan
Affiliation:
Department of Psychology, University of New Brunswick, Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada
*
Address for correspondence: Charlene Belu, Department of Psychology, University of New Brunswick, P.O. Box 4400, Fredericton, New Brunswick, CanadaE3B 5A3. Email: c.belu@unb.ca
Get access

Abstract

Potential alternative partners can threaten the stability of established relationships, yet a romantic or sexual attraction to someone with whom you are not currently involved (i.e., a ‘crush’) appears common for those in relationships (Mullinax, Barnhart, Mark, & Herbenick, 2016). This study assessed prevalence of such crushes, individual and relationship predictors, and links to infidelity. Adults (N = 247, aged 25–45, 43.3% women) in romantic relationships completed surveys assessing individual characteristics (attention to alternatives, sociosexual orientation, attachment avoidance), relationship quality (satisfaction, commitment, intimacy), and infidelity. The degree of attention to alternatives predicted whether one had a crush on another while in a romantic relationship. Crushes were fairly common and seemed to have had few negative implications for those in established relationships. These findings will be of use to therapists addressing couples’ attraction to others.

Keywords

attractioninfidelitysexual fantasydatingintimacy

Information

Type
Research Article
Information
Journal of Relationships Research , Volume 10 , 2019 , e2
Copyright
Copyright © The Author(s) 2019 

Access options

Get access to the full version of this content by using one of the access options below. (Log in options will check for institutional or personal access. Content may require purchase if you do not have access.)

Article purchase

Temporarily unavailable

References

Allen, E.S., Atkins, D.C., Baucom, D.H., Snyder, D.K., Gordon, K.C., & Glass, S.P. (2005). Intrapersonal, interpersonal, and contextual factors in engaging in and responding to extramarital involvement. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 12, 101–130. doi:10.1093/clipsy.bpi014Google Scholar
Arnett, J.J. (2000). Emerging adulthood: A theory of development from the late teens through the twenties. American Psychologist, 55, 469–480. doi:10.1037/0003-066X.55.5.469Google Scholar
Arnett, J.J. (2004). Emerging adulthood: The winding road from the late teens through the twenties. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.Google Scholar
Barta, W.D., & Kiene, S.M. (2005). Motivations for infidelity in heterosexual dating couples: The roles of gender, personality differences, and sociosexual orientation. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 22, 339–360. doi:10.1177/0265407505052440Google Scholar
Behrend, T.S., Sharek, D.J., Meade, A.W., & Wiebe, E.N. (2011). The viability of crowdsourcing for survey research. Behavior Research Methods, 43, 800–813. doi:10.3758/s13428-011-0081-0Google Scholar
Belu, C.F., & O'Sullivan, L.F. (2018). Why find my own when I can take yours?: The quality of relationships that arise from successful mate poaching. Journal of Relationships Research, 9, e6. https://doi.org/10.1017/jrr.2018.5Google Scholar
Birnbaum, G.E., Cohen, O., & Wertheimer, V. (2007). Is it all about intimacy? Age, menopausal status, and women's sexuality. Personal Relationships, 14, 167–185. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2006.00147.xGoogle Scholar
Blow, A.J., & Hartnett, K. (2005). Infidelity in committed relationships II: A substantive review. Journal of Marital & Family Therapy, 31, 217–233. doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.2005.tb01556.x.Google Scholar
Bowker, J.C., Spencer, S.V., Thomas, K.K., & Gyoerkoe, E.A. (2012). Having and being an other-sex crush during early adolescence. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, 111, 629–643. doi:10.1016/j.jecp.2011.11.008Google Scholar
Byers, E.S. (2005). Relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction: A longitudinal study of individuals in long-term relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 42, 113–118. doi:10.1080/00224490509552264Google Scholar
Byers, E.S., & Demmons, S. (1999). Sexual satisfaction and sexual self-disclosure within dating relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 36, 180–189. doi:10.1080/00224499909551983Google Scholar
Byers, E.S., & MacNeil, S. (2006). Further validation of the Interpersonal Exchange Model of Sexual Satisfaction. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 32, 53–69. doi:10.1080/00926230500232917Google Scholar
Campbell, K., Wright, D.W., & Flores, C.G. (2012). Newlywed women's marital expectations: Lifelong monogamy? Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 53, 108–125. doi:10.1080/10502556.2012.651966Google Scholar
Chapman, B., & Guven, C. (2016). Revisiting the relationship between marriage and wellbeing: Does marriage quality matter? Journal of Happiness Studies, 17, 533–551. doi:10.1007/s10902-014-9607-3Google Scholar
Cherlin, A. (2009). The Marriage-Go-Round: The state of marriage and family in America today. New York, NY: Random House.Google Scholar
Clements, R., & Swensen, C.H. (2000). Commitment to one's spouse as a predictor of marital quality among older couples. Current Psychology, 19, 110–119. doi: 10.1007/s12144-000-1007-7Google Scholar
Conley, T.D., Moors, A.C., Matsick, J.L., & Ziegler, A. (2013). The fewer the merrier?: Assessing stigma surrounding consensually non-monogamous romantic relationships. Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy, 13, 1–30. doi:10.1111/j.1530-2415.2012.01286.xGoogle Scholar
Dandeneau, M.L., & Johnson, S.M. (1994). Facilitating intimacy: Interventions and effects. Journal of Marital & Family Therapy, 20, 17–33. doi: 10.1111/j.1752-0606.1994.tb01008.xGoogle Scholar
DeWall, C.N., Lambert, N.M., Slotter, E.B., Pond, R.S. Jr, Deckman, T., Finkel, E.J., … Fincham, F.D. (2011). So far away from one's partner, yet so close to romantic alternatives: Avoidant attachment, interest in alternatives, and infidelity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101, 1302–1316. doi:10.1037/a0025497Google Scholar
Dhariwal, A., Connolly, J., Paciello, M., & Caprara, G.V. (2009). Adolescent peer relationships and emerging adult romantic styles: A longitudinal study of youth in an Italian community. Journal of Adolescent Research, 24, 579–600. doi:10.1177/0743558409341080Google Scholar
Drigotas, S.M., Safstrom, C.A., & Gentilia, T. (1999). An investment model prediction of dating infidelity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77, 509–524. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.77.3.509Google Scholar
Erdfelder, E., Faul, F., & Buchner, A. (1996). GPOWER: A general power analysis program. Behavior Research Methods, Instruments, & Computers, 28, 1–11. doi:10.3758/BF03203630Google Scholar
Faul, F., Erdfelder, E., Buchner, A., & Lang, A.G. (2013). G*Power Version 3.1.7 [computer software]. Uiversität Kiel, Germany. Retrieved from http://www.gpower.hhu.de/Google Scholar
Fincham, F.D., & May, R.W. (2017). Infidelity in romantic relationships. Current Opinion in Psychology, 13, 70–74. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.03.008Google Scholar
Foster, J.D., Jonason, P.K., Shrira, I., Campbell, W.K., Shiverdecker, L.K., & Varner, S.C. (2014). What do you get when you make somebody else's partner your own? An analysis of relationships formed via mate poaching. Journal of Research in Personality, 52, 78–90. doi:10.1016/j.jrp.2014.07.008Google Scholar
Glass, S.P. (2002). Couple therapy after the trauma of infidelity. In Gurman, A.S. & Jacobson, N.S. (Eds.), Clinical handbook of couple therapy (3rd ed., pp. 488–507). New York, NY: Guilford Press.Google Scholar
Goodman, J.K., Cryder, C.E., & Cheema, A. (2013). Data collection in a flat world: The strengths and weaknesses of Mechanical Turk samples. Journal of Behavioral Decision Making, 26, 213–224. doi:10.1002/bdm.1753Google Scholar
Greeff, P., Hildegarde, L., & Malherbe, A. (2001). Intimacy and marital satisfaction in spouses. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 27, 247–257. doi:10.1080/009262301750257100Google Scholar
Hauser, D.J., & Schwarz, N. (2016). Attentive turkers: MTurk participants perform better on online attention checks than do subject pool participants. Behavior Research Methods, 48, 400–407. doi:10.3758/s13428-015-0578-zGoogle Scholar
Hearn, K.D., O'Sullivan, L.F., & Dudley, C.D. (2003). Assessing reliability of early adolescent girls’ reports of romantic and sexual behavior. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 32, 513–521. doi:10.1023/A:1026033426547Google Scholar
Hurlock, E.B., & Klein, E.R. (1934). Adolescent ‘crushes’. Child Development, 5, 63–80. doi:10.2307/1125797Google Scholar
Impett, E.A., Beals, K.P., & Peplau, L.A. (2001). Testing the investment model of relationship commitment and stability in a longitudinal study of married couples. Current Psychology, 20, 312–326. doi:10.1007/s12144-001-1014-3Google Scholar
Johnson, D.J., & Rusbult, C.E. (1989). Resisting temptation: Devaluation of alternative partners as a means of maintaining commitment in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 57, 967–980. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.57.6.967Google Scholar
Labrecque, L.T., & Whisman, M.A. (2017). Attitudes toward and prevalence of extramarital sex and descriptions of extramarital partners in the 21st century. Journal of Family Psychology, 31, 952–957. doi:10.1037/fam0000280Google Scholar
Lawrance, K., & Byers, E.S. (1992). Development of the interpersonal exchange model of sexual satisfaction in long-term relationships. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 1, 123–128.Google Scholar
Lawrance, K., & Byers, E.S. (1995). Sexual satisfaction in long-term heterosexual relationships; The interpersonal exchange model of sexual satisfaction. Personal Relationships, 2, 267–285. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.1995.tb00092.xGoogle Scholar
Le, B., & Agnew, C.R. (2003). Commitment and its theorized determinants: A meta–analysis of the investment model. Personal Relationships, 10, 37–57. doi:10.1111/1475-6811.00035Google Scholar
Le, B., Dove, N.L., Agnew, C.R., Korn, M.S., & Mutso, A.A. (2010). Predicting nonmarital romantic relationship dissolution: A meta-analytic synthesis. Personal Relationships, 17, 377–390. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01285.xGoogle Scholar
Lydon, J.E., Meana, M., Sepinwall, D., Richards, N., & Mayman, S. (1999). The commitment calibration hypothesis: When do people devalue attractive alternatives? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 25, 152–161. doi:10.1177/0146167299025002002Google Scholar
McNulty, J.K., Meltzer, A.L., Makhanova, A., & Maner, J.K. (2018). Attentional and evaluative biases help people maintain relationships by avoiding infidelity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 115, 76–95.Google Scholar
Maddox Shaw, A.M., Rhoades, G.K., Allen, E.S., Stanley, S.M., & Markman, H.J. (2013). Predictors of extradyadic sexual involvement in unmarried opposite-sex relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 50, 598–610. doi:10.1080/00224499.2012.666816Google Scholar
Maner, J.K., Gailliot, M.T., & Miller, S.L. (2009). The implicit cognition of relationship maintenance: Inattention to attractive alternatives. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 45, 174–179. doi:10.1016/j.jesp.2008.08.002Google Scholar
Maner, J.K., Rouby, D.A., & Gonzaga, G.C. (2008). Automatic inattention to attractive alternatives: The evolved psychology of relationship maintenance. Evolution and Human Behavior, 29, 343–349. doi:10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2008.04.003Google Scholar
Mark, K.P., Janssen, E., & Milhausen, R.R. (2011). Infidelity in heterosexual couples: Demographic, interpersonal, and personality-related predictors of extradyadic sex. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40, 971–982. doi:10.1007/s10508-011-9771-zGoogle Scholar
Martins, A., Pereira, M., Andrade, R., Dattilio, F.M., Narciso, I., & Canavarro, M.C. (2016). Infidelity in dating relationships: Gender-specific correlates of face-to-face and online extradyadic involvement. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 45, 193–205. doi:10.1007/s10508-015-0576-3Google Scholar
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P.R. (2003). The attachment behavioral system in adulthood: Activation, psychodynamics, and interpersonal processes. In Zanna, M.P. (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology, (vol. 35, pp. 53–152). San Diego, CA: Elsevier Academic Press. doi:10.1023/A:1024515519160Google Scholar
Mizrahi, M., Kanat-Maymon, Y., & Birnbaum, G.E. (2018). You haven't been on my mind lately: Partner responsiveness mediates the link between attachment insecurity and sexual fantasies. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 35, 440–459. doi:10.1177/0265407517743083Google Scholar
Miller, R.S. (1997). Inattentive and contented: Relationship commitment and attention to alternatives. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73, 758–766. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.73.4.758Google Scholar
Miller, R.S. (2008). Attending to temptation: The operation (and perils) of attention to alternatives in close relationships. In Forgas, J.P. & Fitness, J. (Eds.), Social relationships: Cognitive, affective, and motivational processes (pp. 321–337). London, UK: Psychology Press.Google Scholar
Miller, R.S., & Lefcourt, H.M. (1982). The assessment of social intimacy. Journal of Personality Assessment, 46, 514–518. doi:10.1207/s15327752jpa4605_12Google Scholar
Morry, M.M., Reich, T., & Keito, M. (2010). How do I see you relative to myself? Relationship quality as a predictor of self- and partner-enhancement within cross-sex friendships, dating relationships, and marriages. Journal of Social Psychology, 150, 369–392. doi:10.1080/00224540903365471Google Scholar
Mullinax, M., Barnhart, K.J., Mark, K., & Herbenick, D. (2016). Women's experiences with feelings and attractions for someone outside their primary relationship. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 1–17. doi:10.1080/0092623X.2015.1061076Google Scholar
Neal, A.M., & Lemay, E.P. (2017). The wandering eye perceives more threats: Projection of attraction to alternative partners predicts anger and negative behavior in romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. doi:10.1177/0265407517734398Google Scholar
Negash, S., Veldorale-Brogan, A., Kimber, S.B., & Fincham, F.D. (2016). Predictors of extradyadic sex among young adults in heterosexual dating relationships: A multivariate approach. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 1–20. doi:10.1080/14681994.2016.1219334Google Scholar
Oettingen, G., & Mayer, D. (2002). The motivating function of thinking about the future: Expectations versus fantasies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83, 1198–1212. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.83.5.1198Google Scholar
O'Sullivan, L.F., & Vannier, S.A. (2013). Playing the field? Does actual or perceived relationship status of another influence ratings of physical attractiveness among young adults? Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science/Revue canadienne des sciences du comportement, 45, 210–219. doi:10.1037/a0031826Google Scholar
Penke, L., & Asendorpf, J.B. (2008). Beyond global sociosexual orientations: A more differentiated look at sociosexuality and its effects on courtship and romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95, 1113–1135. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.95.5.1113Google Scholar
Previti, D., & Amato, P.R. (2004). Is infidelity a cause or a consequence of poor marital quality? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21, 217–230. doi:10.1177/0265407504041384Google Scholar
Proulx, C.M., Helms, H.M., & Buehler, C. (2007). Marital quality and personal well-being: A meta-analysis. Journal of Marriage and Family, 69, 576–593. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2007.00393.xGoogle Scholar
Rauer, A.J., Pettit, G.S., Lansford, J.E., Bates, J.E., & Dodge, K.A. (2013). Romantic relationship patterns in young adulthood and their developmental antecedents. Developmental Psychology, 49, 2159–2171. doi:10.1037/a0031845Google Scholar
Rusbult, C.E. (1980). Commitment and satisfaction in romantic associations: A test of the investment model. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 60, 53–78. doi:10.1016/0022-1031(80)90007-4Google Scholar
Rusbult, C.E. (1983). A longitudinal test of the investment model: The development (and deterioration) of satisfaction and commitment in heterosexual involvements. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 45, 101–117. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.45.1.101Google Scholar
Rusbult, C.E., Martz, J.M., & Agnew, C.R. (1998). The investment model scale: Measuring commitment level, satisfaction level, quality of alternatives, and investment size. Personal Relationships, 5, 357–387. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.1998.tb00177.xGoogle Scholar
Santtila, P., Wager, I., Witting, K., Harlaar, N., Jern, P., Johansson, A.D.A., … Sandnabba, N.K. (2007). Discrepancies between sexual desire and sexual activity: Gender differences and associations with relationship satisfaction. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 34, 31–44. doi:10.1080/00926230701620548Google Scholar
Schaefer, M.T., & Olson, D.H. (1981). Assessing intimacy: The PAIR Inventory. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 7, 47–60. doi: 10.1111/j.1752-0606.1981.tb01351.xGoogle Scholar
Schmitt, D.P., & Buss, D.M. (2001). Human mate poaching: Tactics and temptations for infiltrating existing mateships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80, 894–917. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.80.6.894Google Scholar
Schmitt, D.P., & International Sexuality Description Project. (2004). Patterns and universals of mate poaching across 53 nations: The effects of sex, culture, and personality on romantically attracting another person's partner. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 86, 560–584. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.86.4.560Google Scholar
Sprecher, S. (2002). Sexual satisfaction in premarital relationships: Associations with satisfaction, love, commitment and stability. The Journal of Sex Research, 39, 190–196. doi:10.1080/00224490209552141Google Scholar
Sprecher, S., & Cate, R.M. (2004). Sexual satisfaction and sexual expression as predictors of relationship satisfaction and stability. In Harvey, J.H., Wenzel, A., & Sprecher, S. (Eds.), The handbook of sexuality in close relationships (pp. 235–256). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.Google Scholar
Sprecher, S., & Duck, S. (1994). Sweet talk: The importance of perceived communication for romantic and friendship attraction experienced during a get-acquainted date. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 20, 391–400.Google Scholar
Simpson, J.A., Gangestad, S.W., & Lerma, M. (1990). Perception of physical attractiveness: Mechanisms involved in the maintenance of romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, 1192–1201. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.59.6.1192Google Scholar
Tabachnick, B.G., & Fidell, L.S. (2013). Using multivariate statistics (6th ed.). Boston, MN: Pearson Education.Google Scholar
Thompson, A.E., & O'Sullivan, L.F. (2016). Drawing the line: The development of a comprehensive assessment of infidelity judgments. Journal of Sex Research, 53, 910–926. doi:10.1080/00224499.2015.1062840Google Scholar
Tolstedt, B.E., & Stokes, J.P. (1983). Relation of verbal, affective, and physical intimacy to marital satisfaction. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 30, 573–580. doi:10.1037/0022-0167.30.4.573Google Scholar
Treas, J., & Giesen, D. (2000). Sexual infidelity among married and cohabiting Americans. Journal of Marriage & Family, 62, 48–62. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2000.00048.xGoogle Scholar
Uller, T., & Johansson, L.C. (2003). Human mate choice and the wedding ring effect. Human Nature, 14, 267–276. doi:10.1007/s12110-003-1006-0Google Scholar
Watkins, S.J., & Boon, S.D. (2015). Expectations regarding partner fidelity in dating relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 33, 237–256. doi:10.1177/0265407515574463Google Scholar
Wei, M., Russell, D.W., Mallinckrodt, B., & Vogel, D.L. (2007). The experiences in close relationship scale (ECR)-short form: Reliability, validity, and factor structure. Journal of Personality Assessment, 88, 187–204. doi:10.1080/00223890701268041Google Scholar
Wellings, K., Collumbien, M., Slaymaker, E., Singh, S., Hodges, Z., Patel, D., & Bajos, N. (2006). Sexual behaviour in context: A global perspective. The Lancet, 368, 1706–1728. doi:10.1016/S0140-6736(06)69479-8Google Scholar
Wiederman, M.W., & Hurd, C. (1999). Extradyadic involvement during dating. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 16, 265–274. doi:10.1177/0265407599162008.Google Scholar
Yoo, H., Bartle-Haring, S., Day, R.D., & Gangamma, R. (2014). Couple communication, emotional and sexual intimacy, and relationship satisfaction. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 40, 275–293. doi:10.1080/0092623x.2012.751072Google Scholar