This article examines a set of important but unpublished shields from Malla, Nepal, discovered in the Patan Palace Complex, by combining philology with the study of material culture. The four shields, which display images of Hindu deities, are the only known instance of inscribed textiles in pre-modern Newar art history. The paper first deciphers the shields’ inscriptions to explain their overall importance for scholarship, and then seeks to uncover their iconographic scheme by studying the objects alongside unpublished liturgical texts in order to prove that they were commissioned for the worship of Ugracaṇḍā, a goddess key to Newar conceptions of kingship. I delve into the provenance and historical background of the shields and explore broader Indic ideas of the divinization of weapons to explain the ritual function and symbolic significance of these objects for royal celebrations. In doing so, we also posit the specific political context behind their creation.