A struggle since at least my suffragist great-grandmother, combining committed work and close relationships remains a challenge. My foremothers’ experiences and my own rocky life illustrate choices both happy and sad; observing the women in my family suggests that either all work or all family can frustrate anyone reasonably ambitious or easily bored. Aiming to have both love and work, I watched role models, concentrating first on the career, then looking for a spouse. Career lessons: attend to local politics; heed advice; bridge the gap between areas; metabolize failure. Perseverance furthers in matters of both mind and heart but not both at once. The mind being at work, the heart hunts. Proximity predicted success, yielding one long-term relationship with a neighbor and (separately) others met at work (with appropriate consent and discretion). Sometimes, somehow, some can have it all, but much depends on making the most of serendipity.