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7 - The power of diagnostic situations: how support and conflict can foster growth and security

from Part II - Concepts and mechanisms

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  05 April 2016

By
Nickola C. Overall ,
Yuthika U. Girme  and
Jeffry A. Simpson
Edited by
C. Raymond Knee  and
Harry T. Reis
C. Raymond Knee
Affiliation:
University of Houston
Harry T. Reis
Affiliation:
University of Rochester, New York
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Summary

This chapter examines how needing support and confronting relationship conflicts can provide opportunities for relationship and personal growth. We first consider the diagnostic nature of support interactions. Relying on intimate partners for support can cause pain if partners are not adequately responsive, but partners who are sensitive to the specific needs of support recipients demonstrate that they are reliable caregivers. We also evaluate the diagnostic relevance of relationship conflicts. Conflicts carry risks of rejection and dissatisfaction, but partners who are upset by conflict and strive to solve problems can reveal just how invested they are in the relationship. Our examination of the literature reveals that by exposing the partner’s dependability and commitment, these diagnostic contexts have the power to solidify and enhance relationships. Our analysis of recent research also demonstrates that the power of these diagnostic contexts to foster growth may be strongest for people high in attachment insecurity because these situations provide the opportunity for partners to counteract negative beliefs and expectations. The research reviewed illustrates how partners’ responsive support and sensitive conflict behavior can temper the damaging responses of insecurely attached people, promote more constructive interactions, and build greater trust, satisfaction, and security.

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Positive Approaches to Optimal Relationship Development , pp. 148 - 170
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2016

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