Published: Civil and Military Gazette, 8 November 1888.

Atribution: In Scrapbook 4 (28/4, p. 91).

Text: Civil and Military Gazette.

Notes: Unrecorded and unreprinted.

The Bombay Municipality meant business, and there was joy in the hearts of Hunt and Roskell, Rundle and Bridges, Garrard … Co., and T. Lamb, the masonic regaler.

“What we want,” said Major S—lb—y, “is dignity—dignity, gentlemen, proportioned to the stinks of the beach and matching the status of the wandering leper who is as yet unlegislated for. Suppose we were some day called upon to form a procession – suppose we were suddenly overtaken by a Royal Duke upon a pier-head, such things have been and may be again? I, gentlemen, possess a uniform which, though I say it who should not, is remarkably effective. But you, where would you be?”

“Very true,” said the Bombay Municipality, “we will do the job in style. ‘A stitch at the time saves nine,’ as our Honourable and Worshipful native colleagues remark. Let us begin by dressing up the President.” They swaddled him in a silk tabard, embroidered with bullion and blazoned as to the back with the arms of the Corporation – videlicet parly per pale a sewer cassie, on a field of town sweepings improper, in chief a sitting Bull, gules; supporters a bag of assafoetida ouverte, and a shovel, both of the cheapest; motto:– “He Injun, he big Injun, he heap big Injun, he mighty big heap Injun; he dam mighty big heap Injun. He Jones!” They further provided him with an all-oak, platinum clamped, Tantalus lock, ivory inlaid civic chair, with three-pile velvet cushions of six inch sterling fringe, and an open work back of Limoges enamel. Round his stomach they festooned a repoussé gold work chain of four Strands, and upon his bosom they placed a plaque of Doultonware mounted in silver and pourtraying the superiority of Bombay to all other places in the world.