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23 - Transgressions, (Un)forgiveness, and Revenge

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  09 February 2026

By
Susan D. Boon  and
Stephen M. Yoshimura
Edited by
Anita L. Vangelisti ,
Daniel Perlman  and
Susan Sprecher
Anita L. Vangelisti
Affiliation:
University of Texas, Austin
Daniel Perlman
Affiliation:
University of North Carolina, Greensboro
Susan Sprecher
Affiliation:
Illinois State University
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Summary

This chapter reviews the literature on responses to wrongdoing in close relationships. We begin by discussing what we know about transgressions as they occur in relationships. We then explore research and theorizing on three related but distinct ways of responding to wrongdoing (forgiveness, unforgiveness, and revenge) that vary in the nature of the response, the research attention they have attracted among those who study relationships, and the extent to which they are viewed as appropriate, desirable, and healthy. We also consider directions for future research and comment on how current methodology and theory can be extended in this area. We ultimately encourage relationship scholars to approach investigation of relational wrongdoing with openness to the possibility that forgiveness may not always and inevitably be the best way forward by exploring when, for whom, and under what circumstances both forgiveness and its less favourably viewed alternatives produce desirable versus undesirable outcomes.

Keywords

forgivenessgrudge-holdingrevengetransgressionsunforgiveness

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The Cambridge Handbook of Personal Relationships , pp. 484 - 505
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Print publication year: 2026

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